KENNESAW, Ga. | Apr 23, 2025

There has been much angst recently about return to office mandates. Before 2019, most people were working in an office every day, so this is a novel controversy. This past week, I spoke at a conference and was happy to see so many people attending and networking. It reminded me that, whether we like it or not, there really isn’t any substitute for spending time in-person with other people. So, while you may not want to have to commute every day of the week anymore, the other extreme of rarely or never commuting will lead to a major accumulation of what I’ll call “relationship debt”. Let’s explore the concept and why, while it can impact people at any level of seniority, it can be most detrimental to those early in their careers. This concept also applies broadly outside of the area of data science, AI, and analytics.

Technical Debt As An Analog

In the technology world, there is the common term “technical debt”. This term refers to situations where an organization is behind the curve in keeping code bases, systems, and technical processes up to date. Thus, as time passes, the task of updating those things gets harder and more expensive. This is in part because updates, patches, and other maintenance options may become less available, if not totally absent, from the vendors of outdated technologies. Technical debt is insidious because it is hard to quantify and may remain partly hidden until some type of massive outage or breakdown occurs.

Defining Relationship Debt

Like technology, relationships require initial investment, as well as ongoing maintenance and support. No matter how close you are to a childhood friend, if you don’t talk for 20 years, you really won’t know them anymore. Effective relationships are those that are cultivated and invested in. You can neglect a relationship for a short period of time with little impact, but soon it’s going to require a lot of rebuilding. That cost of rebuilding a weakened relationship is what relationship debt is all about. Relationship debt can also be relative to others in that if someone has a stronger relationship with the boss than you do, you’re still behind even if you have a good relationship yourself.

Of course, you need to have a relationship established before you can maintain it. If you and I don’t have a relationship of any substance, we don’t have a relationship debt, we simply don’t have a relationship. This even less desirable outcome is much more likely in a virtual work environment where it is easy to let time pass without any meaningful interactions with coworkers, managers, and other stakeholders. Lacking a relationship with a key stakeholder also gives you a substantial relative relationship debt to others who are more engaged.

Why Relationship Debt Matters

The reality, whether we like it or not, is that much of the business world is based upon relationships, perceptions, and even office politics. The further you are removed from the center of the action, the less likely you’ll get that raise, promotion, or key assignment. People naturally trust those they know best and have a track record with. They will thus allocate raises, promotions, and key assignments based upon their stronger relationships. Assume some of your team members are talking in-person with your boss multiple times per week and even having lunches and happy hours with the boss.  Meanwhile, you’re simply joining Teams or Zoom meetings a couple times a week. You are at a massive disadvantage!

It may be convenient to be remote and your local coworkers may fuss about their commutes. But, if they’re getting direct access to, and facetime with, management and the extended team and you aren’t, you’re building up relationship debt relative to them. I credit a portion of my rise to Chief Analytics Officer of a large public company to the luck I had in joining the company from a location that, on paper, appeared to be a satellite office. In reality, the location was where most of the senior leadership team was based. I have no doubt that my access to them, and ability to let them get to know me and what I was about, helped me rise through the ranks. Non-local employees accumulated significant relationship debt with those executives compared to me.

The Reason Early Career Professionals Need To Take Special Note

I’ve been working long enough so that I know how to build relationships. I know how to understand and navigate corporate bureaucracies. I know how to maximize the time I get with people in sub-optimal virtual meetings. But I learned a lot of those skills by spending time with people throughout my career and learning from them.  I worry that many young people today don’t even realize what they are missing since all they’ve ever known is Teams or Zoom meetings with infrequent (or nonexistent) in-person interactions. Without that awareness, the skills needed to develop relationships and avoid relationship debt simply won’t develop.

My advice to everyone, but especially early career professionals, is to embrace finding a balance of remote and in-person work. Focus on truly getting to know your coworkers and leaders, what drives them, and how you can work with them most effectively. I’m willing to bet that if you go out of your way to have more in-person interactions, you’ll quickly see how much more impactful those interactions are than online interactions. To succeed in the long term, work hard to keep your relationship debt as low as possible!